Don’t you know I pack a Chainsaw

Doesn’t it seem like when you need to get somewhere, everyone is super, extra pokey slow? I had one of those days the other day. I was supposed to leave work half an hour early because I had an appointment, of course I got stuck with that asshole customer, who just does not get it. This cubey job has taught me one thing, if nothing else, and if i already didn’t know then it confirmed it: at least 85% of people are incompetent, obnoxious, and just plain dumb and also pretty rude. Either way, I finally got off the phone with him, ran out of the office, down three flights of stairs, through the parking ramp, and finally to my car.

Now, I’m going to interject here and point out that sometimes I’m a little bit crazy. Which, I will totally admit to, on my own, I don’t need anyone else to point it out to me, because I already know. But I’m a gemini, so I think that makes it okay. Or a little bit more okay, anyway. I also know, that when it gets to be that time of the month or, like, the week preceding and following it, I get a little moody. One minute I’m happy, then I’m angry. I’m all over the place.

[side note, especially if you are a potential future employer, or like, boyfriend or something, or whatever: I do not unleash my craziness on all those around me. I can grit my teeth, smile and go along like life is great, even if I just want to slam something through the nearest window (is this weird?, I’m not sure…). Mostly, I get really angry for a second, and then I’m fine all over again. [Woohoo!] The only people who see my really crazy side are the people who, like, have to love me, no matter what. You know, my mom and my sister, and maybe my dad but he doesn’t really get it, maybe because he’s a boy, or something, I’m not really sure.]

So, today, leaving nearly twenty minutes late, heated because of the dumbass I had just been speaking with, I, of course, got behind the other dumbass who had to go 10 mph under the speed limit. And it was a no passing zone everywhere. Then, there was a car going so slow on the thruway that they put their blinkers on….say what, I wasn’t sure people actually did this, like this man was smoking his cig taking a leisurely drive on a Tuesday afternoon. Interesting Anyway, by this time, I obviously know that I am going to be late for my appointment. Because my mom knows that I’m crazy and probably being a maniac, and because she loves me, she called my Dr.’s office to let them know that I was running behind schedule. I think she did it mostly just because she loves me, though.

If I was cartoon, my face would have been red with smoke puffing out of my ears. You know what I’m talking about.

image from clipartof.com

I, also was driving like a bat out of hell. If there had been another person in the car, they would have been holding onto the holy shit bar. If I was still a cartoon, there would have been lightening bolts coming out from behind me, like in Mario Kart when you hit a star (the best part, obviously). If I had gotten pulled over by a cop, and if they had given me a ticket, it probably would have cost me like a thousand dollars. It was really ridiculous, because there was actually no need to be driving so fast. Especially because it was very windy, and I have little car, and so I was practically zig zagging around the road. I was still so angry, though, that I didn’t even sing along to the radio, which is probably the only thing I ever like about being in the car. Because I actually really dislike being in the car for some reason.

By the time I got to my Dr.’s office, five minutes late, by the way, I ended up having to sit in the waiting room because they were behind schedule too. This usually would be annoying, (for anyone! not just me!!!) and I realized that I just wasn’t mad anymore, because just sitting there, not being bothered by anyone was the calmest part of my day. Whew. And, that might be kind of sad?

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