Don’t you know I pack a Chainsaw

Doesn’t it seem like when you need to get somewhere, everyone is super, extra pokey slow? I had one of those days the other day. I was supposed to leave work half an hour early because I had an appointment, of course I got stuck with that asshole customer, who just does not get it. This cubey job has taught me one thing, if nothing else, and if i already didn’t know then it confirmed it: at least 85% of people are incompetent, obnoxious, and just plain dumb and also pretty rude. Either way, I finally got off the phone with him, ran out of the office, down three flights of stairs, through the parking ramp, and finally to my car.

Now, I’m going to interject here and point out that sometimes I’m a little bit crazy. Which, I will totally admit to, on my own, I don’t need anyone else to point it out to me, because I already know. But I’m a gemini, so I think that makes it okay. Or a little bit more okay, anyway. I also know, that when it gets to be that time of the month or, like, the week preceding and following it, I get a little moody. One minute I’m happy, then I’m angry. I’m all over the place.

[side note, especially if you are a potential future employer, or like, boyfriend or something, or whatever: I do not unleash my craziness on all those around me. I can grit my teeth, smile and go along like life is great, even if I just want to slam something through the nearest window (is this weird?, I’m not sure…). Mostly, I get really angry for a second, and then I’m fine all over again. [Woohoo!] The only people who see my really crazy side are the people who, like, have to love me, no matter what. You know, my mom and my sister, and maybe my dad but he doesn’t really get it, maybe because he’s a boy, or something, I’m not really sure.]

So, today, leaving nearly twenty minutes late, heated because of the dumbass I had just been speaking with, I, of course, got behind the other dumbass who had to go 10 mph under the speed limit. And it was a no passing zone everywhere. Then, there was a car going so slow on the thruway that they put their blinkers on….say what, I wasn’t sure people actually did this, like this man was smoking his cig taking a leisurely drive on a Tuesday afternoon. Interesting Anyway, by this time, I obviously know that I am going to be late for my appointment. Because my mom knows that I’m crazy and probably being a maniac, and because she loves me, she called my Dr.’s office to let them know that I was running behind schedule. I think she did it mostly just because she loves me, though.

If I was cartoon, my face would have been red with smoke puffing out of my ears. You know what I’m talking about.

image from clipartof.com

I, also was driving like a bat out of hell. If there had been another person in the car, they would have been holding onto the holy shit bar. If I was still a cartoon, there would have been lightening bolts coming out from behind me, like in Mario Kart when you hit a star (the best part, obviously). If I had gotten pulled over by a cop, and if they had given me a ticket, it probably would have cost me like a thousand dollars. It was really ridiculous, because there was actually no need to be driving so fast. Especially because it was very windy, and I have little car, and so I was practically zig zagging around the road. I was still so angry, though, that I didn’t even sing along to the radio, which is probably the only thing I ever like about being in the car. Because I actually really dislike being in the car for some reason.

By the time I got to my Dr.’s office, five minutes late, by the way, I ended up having to sit in the waiting room because they were behind schedule too. This usually would be annoying, (for anyone! not just me!!!) and I realized that I just wasn’t mad anymore, because just sitting there, not being bothered by anyone was the calmest part of my day. Whew. And, that might be kind of sad?

Why haven’t I heard from you

Eek, it’s been almost a month since I last posted, not that anyone cares. So what has happened? Well, last month I was offered a job, maybe not my dream job, but I’ll take it. Since then, I have continued looking for whatever that dream job may be, and had a few interviews – phone interviews, worse than in person interviews. One of them was like I was just chatting with some long lost friend about my life, maybe like a blind date? Tell me about your interests And the other one, I’m pretty sure she was eating her lunch while asking me questions that didn’t make any sense to me. I contemplated just saying, forget about it and hanging up the phone.

Just this past week, I packed up [most of my life] and moved in with my sister. My bedroom at home now looks like what a normal person’s bedroom should look like, rather than having every square inch filled with random things. Hopefully leaving so much of my stuff there will postpone my parents from painting over my hot pink and zebra walls, and turning it into some kind of practical room. Like an office. But, like, they’ve survived this long without it, so maybe they can wait a while longer.

Next Monday I start my new job. Yay!(?) I am definitely looking forward to having something to do with my time. It’s not really summer anymore, so I can’t lay out. I’ve read so many books, I don’t want to look at them for a while now. I’ve really cut back on my job searching, so I have been watching an excessive amount of junk TV lately. What have I learned? Talk shows have the same guests and talk about the same things, all day long. It might be funny the first time, but after a while it gets really boring. I also became slightly addicted to the show Jerseylicious, even though I found out that the salon employees were pretty much cast by the Style network. TV is being taken over by reality TV shows, that aren’t even actually real, so confusing.

I’ve got some questions

After fixing your resume and rewriting your cover letter to be absolutely perfect for all of those jobs that you’ve found to be acceptable to apply for, and are actually real, you finally get called in for an interview! Woohoo! It’s both exciting and irritating when your caller ID displays a number you’ve never seen before. I know that I always tentatively answer when it’s a number I don’t know because I’ve gotten some crazy calls before from people who seriously had the wrong number. So when it’s actually someone calling for an interview, I’m always elated, and practically jump up and down after I hang up. Even when it’s a job I’m not really all that excited for, because a job is a job, and practically any job would make me happy at this point.

I think the thing that makes me the most nervous about interviews is knowing that the interviewer is going to ask me to ask them questions. Before the interview, I always do some research, figure out what the company does, what my role would be, etc. I try to put together a list of a few questions, but it seems like once it’s time to ask, I forget them! I wanted to do a little research today to figure out what it is exactly that employers/interviewers are looking for you to ask them, and if it actually is appropriate for the interviewee to take notes.

The first site that came up for my search was Virginia Tech’s. Some of the things are kind of obvious, but they also write that you might not look very bright if you don’t have any questions (yikes!). You should let the interviewer know that you have done some research by asking some questions that begin with something along the lines of, “I read on the company website that…” And you should know what to call the company, because maybe they’re actually referred to as an organization, school, business, agency, etc. Of course, you’re never supposed to ask about salary/benefits unless they bring it up first. That website, along with Career Builder, both give suggestions for other possible questions to ask.

In my opinion, I think that some of them are kind of inappropriate for the interviewee to be asking, but I guess what do I know. When it comes down it, I guess ask questions that you feel are appropriate and are really interested in learning more about.

Oh, and taking a pen and paper, totally fine, as long as you don’t have your face glued to it.

Nobody likes being played

I mostly look online to search for job openings, these days I’m not really sure how else you would find jobs unless they are posted in newspapers or advertised on the radio/TV. To look for a job I have used numerous job search engines, Monster, Indeed, Idealist, etc., as well as Craigslist. I know that Craigslist can be a little sketchy, especially after watching The Craigslist Killer (yikes!), but my cousin found his job through the website. As with any of the other job search engines, you have to weed out the illegitimate job postings, which can usually be done through a simple google search. Before applying to any job that I find on job boards, I search for the company, find their website, make sure that all information given in the posting is the same as that given on the website, and sometimes even googlemap the location. I’ve read plenty of stories about people getting scammed and I sure don’t want to be a part of that!

Today I found an article about job scams found online – someone posted a job on Craigslist for the Better Business Bureau! The (real) BBB gave some tips about how to avoid these types of scams, which I have posted below:
Exercise caution when using social networking sites, check out the company website to make sure it actually exists
Guard your Resume. Make sure you only upload your resume for a legitimate purpose and company. Resumes often contain personal information, ripe for identity theft thieves.
Start with Trust. Many scams use names that are similar to reputable companies to trick job seekers. BBB recommends that job seekers check out the company first at bbb.org and to apply through the actual company site whenever possible.
Never Pay Upfront Fees. No legitimate job offer will require out of pocket expenses from a potential employee before an interview.
Protect Personal Information. Job seekers should never provide their social security number or birth date until they have verified the position is legitimate. Additionally, job seekers should never provide bank account information for direct deposit setup until they have officially been hired.
Be Careful of the “Perfect Offer.” If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Avoid Work-at-Home Offers. Most jobs that imply you can work from home or rake in cash are a ploy to trap you into giving away your credit card information, cashing fake checks, or paying for training that should be free. Job seekers should understand employees working from home generally go through the traditional in-person interviews and hiring process and often have prior experience in what they are doing, work for a salary, or have spent time and money developing the market for their work.
Report Fraud.If you find a job scam or internet fraud, including Craigslist scams, report it to the BBB or file a complaint with them here. You can also contact the Internet Fraud Complaint Center at 800.251.3221 or go to http://www.ic3.gov.

While looking at these articles, I also came across this one; six girls bought tickets for a Katy Perry concert online. The night of the concert they discovered the tickets were frauds. Luckily a good samaritan, who was in the same boat, bought all six girls legitimate tickets, which ended up being better seats than what they thought they had purchased. The girls promise to pay it forward.

That shit makes me bat shit crazy

I recently finished the book Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld, which reminded me of an idea that I had for a blog entry. I don’t want to get into too much of a summary of the book, and really my point is only made in one paragraph (page 249, if you decide to check the book out). The main character, Lee, is fourteen when we first meet her and is venturing off to a private boarding school. In order to become prefect, or class president, you had to be nominated by another classmate, preferably not one of your friends because that would have been “tacky and transparent,” and once nominated you didn’t want to campaign because that would be similar to “ass-kissing” (glad we’re past the rules of high school). Anyway, she’s writing the book from her adult perspective and compares the prefect nominations to when she was interviewing for jobs:

This desperate aversion to seeming like you wanted anything, or worse, to going after it, stayed with me for years after I left Ault. When I graduated from college, my father told me he was concerned that I didn’t express enough enthusiasm in job interviews, and the comment shocked me. Enthusiasm was a thing you were supposed to show? But wasn’t it a little disgusting, didn’t it seem the same as greed and neediness? Of course you wanted the job, I thought, and the interviewer should know that because why else would you have shown up in his office?

My mom has expressed a similar concern to me. Although, I admit that I sometimes maybe don’t show much enthusiasm once I’m in an interview and I’m being told the actual job duties. Sometimes it’s all I can do to hold myself back from saying, Really?? Since when does an Events Coordinator flip hamburgers? Is that really what I was learning about while I was in college, I must have missed something. By the way, you definitely have a hole in your shirt.

In my opinion, I feel like the expected enthusiasm levels are sometimes over the top. Am I really supposed call you everyday after an interview? Is that really going to make you more likely to hire me? I think that once I leave the interview, you (the interviewer) have already made up your mind about me. You already know whether or not you’re going to hire me, or at least have a pretty good idea. So is me calling you going to change my fate, or just make you want to slap me and regret ever calling me in for an interview to begin with?

My mom reminds me that it is an “employer’s market.” Employers have the luxury of calling, or not calling you back, no need to inform you that, lucky you, you didn’t get the job. Of course, I don’t really think that’s fair. As job seekers, we’re putting ourselves out there everyday, trying to make an impression, and until we hit the jackpot and land a job, we’re going to be frustrated. The way I see it, I show my interest by contacting you, taking hours to write my cover letter, and finally, by showing up to the interview, ready to answer all of your questions that sometimes seem pointless, (Where do I see myself in five years? Well, hopefully with a job, or maybe homeless if I don’t get a job soon). What else can we do? I’m not sure employers would appreciate us jumping up and down on their couches, would that show them that I really want this job?